


He Hoped It Would (Work Out For The Best)

by BunnyThatFlies



Series: Dark Soulmate AU [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Added a rape warning because I want to be on the safe side, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Attempted Rape, Blood, Body Trauma, Guns, I'm back y'all!, Lots of blood mentioned, M/M, May get gory, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Torture, Warning: the characters are ooc, and a procrastinator, author is too tired, chapter 8 and 9 contain the following, physical violence, slight gore, torture instruments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:48:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7864405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyThatFlies/pseuds/BunnyThatFlies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU where soulmates get the thought of their soul mate, when they first realise they love the other, etched into their wrist where it will leave a scar. A much less fluffy version of the typical soulmate AU.</p>
<p>Izaya Orihara didn't ask for his soulmate to be his arch nemesis, nor did he want for it to ruin his life. Maybe karma was finally catching up to him. How unfair for him to have to deal with this.</p>
<p>It didn't seem like his future would go very well, but one could only hope in a situation like this.</p>
<p>(Update schedule on my profile :3)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi.
> 
> Welcome to my first DRRR!! fic, and consequently my first shizaya fic.
> 
> It's basically another soulmate AU, but I hadn't seen one like this so thought I'd post it.
> 
> I'm really sorry if I don't quite capture the characters personalities right, I'm a newbie here.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! (As much as possible anyway ^^") 
> 
> WARNING: There is blood mentioned, so if that upsets or disturbs you, this fic may not be great for you. However it's not that bad I don't think. (Lol it gets worse so yeah, be prepared)
> 
> The update schedule will be announced on my profile, so check that out to know when I'm hoping to update!

It was a true joke. Out of the millions upon billions of people in the world that were likely to have a soulmate, why did he, Izaya Orihara, need one? He'd much rather be left alone without them, without even having a soulmate to tie him down, the mere thought causing bile to rise in his throat. 'It' had appeared on his wrist whilst he had been on a job, ruining some guy's life cause he slept with some woman who ran off with all his money. It was like a sudden pain across his wrist, and despite trying to hide it, the man had noticed and scampered away in his distraction. Forgetting completely about his 'client', Izaya had ripped his sleeve up his arm and watched in horror as thin, cursive words manifested themselves like a cut into his wrists, small beads of blood trickling from the incisions. 

'It' stained his skin, turning the surrounding area of it a dark purple bruise colour, slowly becoming much harder to decipher along with the streams of blood. Panic stricken, he raced to Shinra's apartment, hoping there was a way he could have it surgically removed despite knowing it was physically impossible. The words, etched into his skin, screamed at him through the panicked haze of his mind as he ran, taunting him with his impending doom. 

_ "I hate him, why should I love a lying bastard like him?" _

Of course, Shinra couldn't do anything about his infliction, simply bandaged up his wrist and said nothing to taunt him for once. He made him some tea, knowing how much it would affect Izaya to have something like this happen to him, and simply waited for Izaya's panic attack to subside. 

"Shinra, it can't be..." He had started to say, but Shinra simply shook his head as if telling him to stop. Blood began seeping through the bandage, staining it a crimson red that snaked through the fibres of the cotton. "No, Shinra, it isn't!"

A sigh simply followed, as Shinra stood and began to pace. "Listen, Izaya. I know it's hard for you to accept, but you have to deal with it. I don't know how it took so long," he mused aloud, eyes glued on the red wrist of his current patient.

It was like karma just had to double his pain and laugh at him. Shizuo? Of all people? If it could've been anyone, why him? Why the beast? "I refuse to love a monster, Shinra! He'll kill me before we even get the chance to stop hating each other!"

"Is love all that different from hate, Izaya? You're obsessed with each other, how could you of all people not understand until now?" The doctor frowned at his friend, gesturing at him. "How do you think Shizuo feels about all of this anyway?"

Was love really like hate? Would anything change? It was true he had a bit of a Shizuo complex, but could it be love? Even if it was, he couldn't accept it. Not after all these years of hate. "I don't love Shizuo, how delusional are you? And why would I care how the brute feels? It's not like  _ his  _ life has been ruined now!"

After finishing his tea, Izaya left Shinra's apartment, heading straight home, hoping for once that Shizuo didn't catch his presence and chase him. That seemed to be too much to ask though, the familiar sound of a traffic sign being torn out of the ground giving him fair warning before his name was bellowed down the street. "Izaya! Why can't you just do as you're told, and stay away from 'bukuro?!" His blond nemesis-comme-soulmate yelled at him.

Unfortunately, Izaya had been stunned into silence, eyes wide. He was right, he'd be killed before any kind of true affection could take place in their hectic relationship. He would kill him in a fit of anger if he ever let down his walls enough to let the other in. 

_ 'No, I'm so fucked, why him?!' _

A sudden clang shocked Izaya out of his thoughts, eyes dragging to the sign post, now laying on the pavement awkwardly due to the hand print bending it. Something began to drip, and Izaya stared at his bandage, the blood seeping through like a waterfall as a similar sound echoed his own just two feet in front of him. It couldn't have been that Shizuo just experienced the same thing right? It wasn't fair, it couldn't happen like this.

Similarly shocked, Shizuo stared at his own wrist as he read aloud the words curling themselves around it. "No, I'm so fucked, why him...?" 

Izaya let out a loud gasp, stumbling back onto the floor in horror. There was no way this could happen! Shizuo's gaze suddenly snapped to his own wrist, watching the blood drip onto the pavement through the bandage. "Flea, show me your wrist," he demanded, crouching over the other intimidatingly. 

"No, get away from me!" Izaya panicked, trying to get away but quickly being grabbed as the bandage got ripped off, eyes wide as Shizuo read the words etched into the pale skin. This was it, the end. Shizuo would be so angry that Izaya was his soulmate that he'd kill him here and now, no hesitation. He closed his eyes, preparing to meet his untimely death.

He waited. But it never came. 

Slowly, he reopened his eyes, feeling a hand slowly slide through his hair. It was so unexpected that he felt tears collect in his eyes, the confusion leaving him breathless and exposed. "What are you doing, Shizu-chan...?"

A shrug was directed his way, the hand stilling behind his head. "You see, unfortunately, I was brought up to respect my soulmate, no matter who they would turn out to be, if I were to have one. And even if it is you, flea, I've read the news. I know what ignoring the marks means, and I won't let that happen,"

Maybe he was mishearing things, but did Shizuo just essentially promise to respect him unconditionally? This was like something out of a shoujo manga, despite the horror still plaguing his mind. It was happening too fast, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, his mental capabilities completely out of sync as the events of the day continued to baffle him. 

"... We hate each other, Shizu-chan, don't forget that," he muttered, avoiding the other's unwavering gaze. He wouldn't accept this, he couldn't.

Shizuo scoffed, frowning. "Well obviously not, if we have our marks already. Accept it flea," he demanded again, standing up straight and pulling out a cigarette as he kept his eyes on the body of his ex-nemesis. "Or else you might die from neglect,"

Of course Izaya knew the side effects of this stupid system, the longing, possible neglect, increased emotional sensitivity. It'd make his job nigh impossible, not to mention ruin his plans for a higher dwelling in Valhalla. It was so unfair. 

"Do you think you can keep from killing me?" He asked, trying to taunt but failing miserably, his voice coming out frail and afraid, pitiful.

Shizuo shrugged again, seeming nonchalant. "Only if you behave, Iza," He said, eyes unfocused as he stared across the street before looking at the bandage again. "Does it hurt?"

Izaya stood, frowning at the other fiercely despite the tears tracking down his cheeks. "You've ruined my life, yet you're worried if my wrist fucking hurts?!" He screamed at the other, losing control of the facade he so cleverly constructed ever since he was little. "Who do you think you are, waltzing into my life so brazenly and destroying everything with that strength of yours, then casually acting like we need to start a relationship because your words have cut me?!"

He panted desperately, his panic attack increasing ten fold as Shizuo sighed, rolling his eyes. "Aren't you being a little too dramatic? Let me look after you," he muttered, a warmth spreading through Izaya's body as those words left the other's throat. He hated it, hated this, hated him.

But maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could pretend that he'd always hated him. After all, he'd been doing it long enough that he himself believed the lie.

It was a disaster, but somehow, it might work out for the best. He hoped it would.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a bout of creativity and inspiration, so here's part 2. 
> 
> Yeah, I'm weak. I gave in. I was sure it was going to be a one shot, then only two people had to ask for a part 2 and I'm like 'sure, let me hook you up'.
> 
> Haha, who am I kidding. I wanted to keep writing.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Pitiful. How could he let himself fall to this weak, easily defeated being within a day? No, not even that, about 5 hours? It was pitiful. 

The more he thought about it, the more unlikely it was that things would slowly become normal over time. There was no way they wouldn't end up destroying each other within such close proximity, they'd been enemies since high school for Christ's sake. 

Begrudgingly, Izaya was following Shizuo back to the blond's apartment, only able to stare at the trail of blood tracking behind him as his wrist continued to bleed. Was this normal? He was sure he hadn't read anything about the cut being so deep that it wouldn't stop bleeding, and Shinra hadn't seemed worried over the amount of blood, so maybe he was just overreacting. It wouldn't be surprising, he had every right to feel this way, considering the circumstances.

Changing his gaze towards the beast in front of him, he studied his wrist and was quite rightly annoyed by the sight. Not a single drop of blood had stained his shirt, and it looked like it was already healing over. That was normal, how he had interpreted it to happen from all the different news articles he'd read. 

In a positive light, these unfortunate circumstances would give him unlimited access to study Shizuo, to learn how to predict him. If he could predict him, he could use him like any other person, only he'd be his most powerful pawn of them all. He'd be his prized possession. Yeah, it was always better to think positively. His life may have been ruined, but in return he could ruin Shizuo's, and that was as good a compensation as he could ask for.

With a fresh spring in his steps, he skipped up to Shizuo in order to walk beside him, ignoring the stares of the people around them as they watched in confusion and shock. After all, it wasn't everyday they'd see the two of them together without any hint of danger or public property damage. Izaya entertained the possibility that it might be somewhat baffling to the public, but the blood dripping from his wrist might indicate, to the more observant, the circumstances, and he'd much rather not have the whole of Ikebukuro know that his soulmate was also his nemesis. 

"Ne, Shizu-chan?" He chimed loudly, hoping to get on the other's nerves. "I bet you're devastated that I'm your soulmate, not a pretty girl eh?" Izaya laughed, the sound sharp and _oh so fake._  It'd be too hard for Shizuo to recognise the difference though, so he tried not to dwell on it.

An annoyed frown creased the taller's forehead right between his eyebrows, the rest of his face set completely impassive as if he were trying to stay calm. "In all honesty, I don't really care. You piss me off on a daily basis anyway, what difference will this make?"

Izaya did not expect that. He wanted Shizuo to be feeling the same sinking emotion as himself, so that he could understand how ruined he felt. "Really? I'll make your life hell, Shizu-chan, I promise," he sneered, turning away and resuming his reluctant meandering as he followed the blond to his apartment.

When Shizuo didn't respond, he huffed petulantly, trying to tune out everything else and go back to his thoughts. So far, there was no cure, as such, to the process, as there was a significant lack of research going into it. Izaya assumed that unfortunately, that was due to the fact that almost everyone wanted a soulmate, and a vast majority of soulmate couples were very happy over the discovery. 

It would be bad, he supposed, if a darker side to the system arose, for the media and humanity in general. Thanks to the great nature of most of the processes, the media had taken to using it, creating dating shows to see if they could couple up soulmates, dramas where soulmates had to face different trials in order to be together, tragedies like a soulmate version of Romeo and Juliet and so many other TV shows it made Izaya sick. Commercially, the soulmate situation was good as well, meaning they could sell soulmate designed, well, everything. From blankets and simple things to special deals on houses and necessities for soulmate couples, sales rocketed of these things. From here, humanity grasped onto the idea as a light within all the darkness of the world.

Therefore, soulmates who hated each other, had abuse issues or just didn't work were never spoken of, never covered in any news articles or shitty drama TV shows. Izaya couldn't be fooled into thinking there was no such thing, after all, this was all happening to humans, something dark would emerge eventually. Maybe this was what was happening here. He and Shizuo hated each other and were likely to end up in an abusive relationship or just not work. They were the perfect example of an anti-soulmate couple, he supposed. The thought made him chuckle softly, they never would be normal huh?

"What does yours say, flea?" Shizuo asked, turning to look at the other as he opened the door to his apartment. "I couldn't make it out with all the blood covering it," 

Izaya shrugged, walking in before the other despite not being invited in yet. "You'll see in a minute, won't you? Don't be impatient Shizu-chan," he sighed as if bored, seating himself on Shizuo's sofa as though it were his own. "I hope you realise that I'm going to keep it covered til the day I die, right?" 

"Why would I care about you keeping it covered?" The blond asked, sounding kind of angry; good, that's what Izaya wanted. "And don't get blood on my couch, I'll kill you," he added, disappearing into the bathroom as he spoke only to return a few moments later holding a small bowl of water, some gauze and anti-septic wipes, and some bandages. Izaya supposed he had to keep a large supply of these things, considering how many fights he always ended up in; usually thanks to Izaya.

"Doesn't that defeat the idea of me not getting blood on the sofa? Wouldn't there be more blood then?" He pointed out slyly, smirking despite a small pang of pain as Shizuo unwrapped the bandage Shinra had given him that was now completely red. A large amount of the gauze was spread underneath where Shizuo held Izaya's wrist to prevent the blood getting over his furniture.

Tutting quietly, the other squeezed his wrist slightly as if to punish him, and Izaya was forced to question why it was that he was letting him touch him like this. Why had he complied so easily? He barely put up a fight, if he even tried, and that was so unlike him it was slightly worrying. Had the effects of the circumstances already been set in place? Had he already been tainted by his fate to stay with the brute forever? Disgusting. "I'll break your wrist, flea," he threatened as he ever so gently dragged a wad of damp gauze over the bloodied part of the wrist. 

Instead of a scathing response, a gasp left Izaya's lips as the cuts began to sting quite violently. It didn't feel like the normal kind of pain he experienced, much more intense and deep, as though he'd been fatally injured. Well, he supposed he had in a way. "Shut up," he muttered, focused on redirecting the pain to the back of his mind. "Doesn't yours hurt?"

If he thought about it, he could've sworn he hadn't come to any kind of epiphany about loving the other, if anything he felt more hatred than ever, so how come Shizuo had gotten a scar too? Perplexing as it was, he'd have to think about this some other time. He couldn't afford to slip into another panic attack, not again, not in front of Shizuo. He'd ask too many questions and Izaya would be in no state of mind to refuse to answer them. 

"Nah, it's just there, you know? I guess I wouldn't feel it, my pain tolerance is pretty high," the other explained, rinsing out the gauze in the bowl of water before going back to clean the blood away, prising another pained intake of breath out of Izaya's lungs. "Why hasn't yours healed? Mine did right away?" 

Izaya scoffed, looking away pointedly. "How do you expect me to know? Nothing's ever been said about the healing process taking longer than a matter of minutes, Shizu-chan. I'm a special case," he tried to sound mocking and aloof, but he was sure it didn't sound that way at all. No, it didn't, considering the odd look Shizuo gave him for it.

"I knew that, Izaya, everyone knows that," he said proudly, seemingly happy that he had a chance to mock him back. It was definitely a first for them, he guessed. He never gave him the chance to give him a taste of his own medicine, so he didn't expect it. The monster was just too damn unpredictable. "Anyway, I would've thought you'd have been the type to know everything about this kind of thing, after all it's affecting 'your beloved humans', right?" 

Swapping to the antiseptic wipes, now the majority of the blood had been washed away, Shizuo slowly cleaned the open wound as Izaya let out a pained groan before he could stop himself. It wasn't that he had no control over the pain he felt, hell he'd felt much worse, but again the pain felt too deep, too much. "That hurts, you brute," he murmured, trying not to anger the other too much whilst he was under his care. 

"Well, I'm sorry but do you want it to get infected?" Shizuo grunted, grabbing a new wipe and continuing to disinfect Izaya's wrist. He risked a glance at the words coiling around his wrist before flinching slightly and staring out of the window. 

"Anything would be better than being your soulmate," he answered impassively, his voice hitching slightly as he said the last two words together. Again he was forced to wonder why it was him that had the misfortune of being coupled with this monster, but maybe it was karma. He wasn't a saint he supposed, so in some ways he probably deserved it, his life being completely destroyed so instantaneously that is. Ironic, that he was destined to love and be with the one being he hated most, forever.

Silence followed his comment for quite a while as Shizuo finished cleaning the wound. Izaya turned back to watch the other and was slightly shocked to see a hurt expression on his face before it disappeared once he realised he was being watched. "I didn't ask for this either, you know. You're not the only victim, flea," 

Well, he guessed that put him in his place. Deciding to stay quiet as well, he watched Shizuo gently wrap the bandage around his wrist, as if he was afraid of breaking him. It wouldn't be hard to do it, but Izaya was annoyed that he cared enough to try not to. Who was Shizuo, to think that a brute was allowed act so normal and caring towards him? No, he wasn't supposed to act so human.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya chimed softly, smiling so wide there was no way it could be seen as friendly. "Don't you dare change, okay? I'll kill you if you do," he ordered, staring the other down as if to prove his statement was legitimate. He knew he wouldn't manage to stay sane if his one constant decided to go and change on him as well, it would break him past the point of return. Izaya could easily accept that he was already kind of broken, he wasn't ashamed of such a fact. But he knew he was still completely sane, and he couldn't afford to be set off.

Shrugging, Shizuo tied off the bandage and stood up, taking the bowl and dirtied gauze to the bathroom as he replied simply with a "Good luck," and shut the door as he disposed of the bloodied water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter was a bit better. Longer too.
> 
> I don't know how long it'll be, but I hope to update at most once a week and at least once a month, but I have college next month so... We'll see.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! See you in chapter 3!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... Chapter is kind of a weird...filler chapter. It's not very good and I hate it, but things will start getting interesting from here on out. Hopefully. I think the problem is that I didn't know how to make this chapter work?
> 
> (No, I really hate it. I may change it. Depends if I can get chapter 4 to work...)
> 
> Anyway, onwards!

Izaya almost couldn't believe how dismissive Shizuo was of his very prominent, very realistic death threat. He was perfectly capable of bringing the beast down without needing any wish of luck from anyone. Sitting there on the brute's sofa, Izaya tried to think of something that he could say to put him back at the top of this weird hierarchy they had going, but with minimal success. It was like his brain decided to take a holiday. Why was it so hard? 

Maybe it was his refusal to just blindly accept his fate, not that he believed in it 100% anyway, but everything had happened so quick, how could he do such a thing? 

Staring at the front door for a few moments, Izaya decided just to leave. There was no point staying here, waiting for Shizuo to finish whatever he was busying himself with, when he could be busy himself, not dwelling on his future and working. Beginning to stand, he felt a wave of nausea hit him out of nowhere, but he shrugged it off and swiftly left the apartment, silently shutting the door behind him as he made his way back into the streets.

It was difficult, acting as if everything was perfectly normal, especially when he knew the news of him and Shizuo walking together to the taller's apartment would have been spread throughout the whole city thanks to the Dollars. With every step he took, a new wave of dizziness hit him, but he had to walk straight all the way back to his own apartment. Anyone could come over and try to get rid of him, and he'd run the risk of being a second too late to respond properly.

Luckily he made it back to his apartment building unscathed, but heavily winded and panting as though he was incredibly unfit. He supposed the blood loss was getting to him, after all he was still bleeding through the bandage rather heavily. Izaya had to lean against the wall in the lift as it ascended to his apartment's level just to keep himself upright instead of collapsing. 

When the lift doors opened, he stumbled out before correcting himself and walking to his front door and unlocking it, feeling fatigued already from such a simple task. First thing he needed to do when he got in was call Shinra. There was no way he'd manage a trek back to Ikebukuro in this state, and unfortunately he had assumed he'd be fine when he first left Shizuo's. Clearly, he was not fine, the bandage once again completely red. The bleeding seemed to have gotten worse, despite that being completely wrong according to all his research. 

Who was he kidding? It seemed laughable now that he thought about it, that he couldn't figure it out beforehand. Izaya was rejecting the soulmate curse, wasn't he? Perhaps he was being punished for not accepting it like everyone else. All he needed to do was accept that he would be tied to Shizuo for the rest of his life, and deal with it from there. Then he could stop bleeding, and continue to live as normally as possible. Easier said than done, though. How could he accept something like that?

Shaking his head to clear those thoughts, deciding to focus on one thing at a time, he called Shinra after dropping into his desk chair and switching on his computer. Whilst the dial tone played, he typed in searches about people rejecting the soulmate system, any possible news of cures, and checked the chat rooms.

"Hey Izaya? Where are you?" Shinra asked, sounding much too happy to actually be worried, like the question would cause one to presume. Rolling his eyes, Izaya tried to focus on the screen in front of him.

"I'm at home, doing research on why this curse decided to keep me bleeding. You need to come over, or I might die," he explained in the most convincingly nonchalant way he could muster as he frowned at some of the rumours people were spreading about him and Shizuo. "Why do you ask?"

"That'd be a shame," the doctor replied, sounding like he meant the complete opposite of what he said. "Shizuo's worried, Izaya. It's kind of scary actually, but you did just leave without saying anything,"

Shizuo was worried? How gross, not to mention pathetic. He didn't need some monster to worry about his safety when he was perfectly capable of looking after himself. "Is he still there? Tell him I hate him, and that its his fault I'm about to die if you don't hurry up,"

"Izaya, I'm not your personal messenger, you can tell him that yourself when we come over." Shinra chimed happily as he hung up on the informant, leaving him groaning in annoyance. Why did he have to bring the monster with him? Like that'd make anything better. Honestly, what good came out of them being in the same place.

There was nothing in the news or research columns that he found, not even the backwater ones, that said anything about soulmate couples having issues straight off the bat. There were a few articles, unpopular ones by no surprise, that mentioned the scar could reopen should the bond break, but that was just a hypothesis being thought up by some shady seeming scientists (like Shinra, he thought). It was frustrating, to say the least, that there was nothing. 

Izaya couldn't quite leave his research there though, that couldn't be it. After all, there must've been some other couple like him and Shizuo, who hated each other terribly. This whole ordeal has been going on for centuries now, and despite the rarity of them occurring, it simply wasn't possible for every single bond to be perfect. Maybe he was looking in the wrong place. 

Before he could try pilfering through the deep web, a loud knock on his door resounded through his apartment sharply, forcing him to roll his eyes as he went over and unlocked the door. "Shizu-chan, are you that much of a protozoan that you can't even use a doorbell?" He asked, peeking out.

"Shut it flea, if you hadn't run away I wouldn't be so pissed off," the bodyguard grumbled, staring the shorter down. "Do you even know what time it is? It's like, 1 in the morning,"

Izaya laughed as though he knew this already, opening the door wider to let the two of them in, despite actually thinking it was around 10 o'clock. Had he been searching for information that long? Actually, now that he thought about it, it made sense, considering dwindling lack of activity outside. 

There were tracks of blood on his laminate floor, luckily none on anything it would stain, the steady drip of it sounding too loud all of a sudden. "Of course I know, what took you both so long? I told you to hurry up or I'd die,"

Shinra shrugged as he forced Izaya to sit on the sofa and grinned. "It takes a lot more for that to kill you, I wasn't worried," He frowned though, at the sight of the bandage. "Or maybe not. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling great, actually. Never better. It's been the best day of my life," he sneered, sending a glare towards the other occupant of the room as he trod around his room, leaving footprints of blood. "Shizuo, stop,"

At the sound of Izaya saying his name properly, he actually did as he was told, looking at the floor. "Oh, sorry... Do you have a mop or something?" It was almost funny, how domestic the sentence sounded, but Izaya didn't want to think about that when Shinra kept prodding at the very sore marks on his wrist. 

"That cupboard," he answered shortly, pointing behind him to a door under the stairs. "Hey Shinra? You think you could stop prodding me?" Izaya asked through gritted teeth, shaking his arm out of the other's grip. "Even Shizu-chan was gentler,"

As Shizuo began to mop the floor, strangely quiet and calm for the brute, Shinra chuckled. "Sorry, I was just interested in it. If you don't mind, I'm going to take a sample of your blood, just to check, and I'm going to use some clotting agent to seal it, okay?"

Simply nodding, Izaya returned his attention back to Shizuo, who seemed to be fazed out of reality as he cleaned Izaya's floor. It was a strange sight, yet in his slightly hazy mind, he didn't see a reason to call him out on it. He looked back at what Shinra was doing, watching as each drip of blood filled a small vial before he spread some kind of powder over the wound and put a lid on the vial.

The powder felt like it had burnt his skin, but it seemed to work so Izaya decided not to complain, glad it had finally stopped. "Izaya, if anything, and I mean anything, suddenly feels wrong, you need to give me a call okay? It's clotted for now, but we don't know if it'll hold, so as soon as you start bleeding again, we need to think about what to do," Shinra said as he stood up, brushing off his coat. "You may be annoying, but you're a friend, so... First priorities to you right now I suppose. Also this is really interesting, I don't want to miss out on an opportunity for something good."

After replacing the bandage again, Shinra walked to the door and closed it behind him, saying a simple goodbye as he left. Izaya watched as Shizuo seemed to be cleaning the floor completely now, not just of blood. "Hey, Earth to Shizu-chan?" He hummed, adding a teasing lilt to his voice. "It's like you're my maid,"

A frown creased the blond's forehead, but other than make a small noise of indignation, he stayed silent, cleaning the mop and putting everything back in its place. "... You know, I'm sorry," he began, only now looking at the raven haired man. "I didn't mean for this to happen, you know," for all it was worth, the taller looked entirely awkward, and as though he hated every second of what he was saying. "I mean, I can't say I don't feel some kind of satisfaction seeing you hurt, cause I do. But I guess I should be sorry, cause it's sorta my fault? I don't know,"

Somehow stunned into silence, Izaya rolled his eyes, standing a little shakily as he walked back to his desk. "Whatever. Door's over there. You can see yourself out," he mumbled, skimming his eyes over another article in his search for anything that might help.

He didn't even register when the door was locked, or the fact that clearly, Shizuo hadn't left, as he was so enraptured. It took a good five minutes of the blond waiting to be noticed before Izaya actually realised he was still there. "What are you still doing here? I told you to go," he glared slightly, watching as Shizuo came over to his desk.

"You need to sleep, Izaya. Otherwise you won't get better," he explained, pulling the plug for his computer out of the socket and placing it back on the desk, ignoring Izaya's protesting. "And I'm going to stay with you, to make sure you do. Get better that is,"

"Shinra tell you to, did he? You're going to listen to that crackpot?" He sneered, standing and walking over to stand in front of the other, poking his chest hard. "I don't care about what this stupid bond you've formed means to you, but to me, it means nothing. I don't want you anywhere near me. So, get out," he said, trying to shove the blond to the door, to no avail.

Instead, Shizuo grabbed his wrists, a little too tight considering he was still wounded, and pinned him to the desk. "No. If it meant nothing to you, it wouldn't have happened in the first place. No. I will not leave. And just because I'm not going to try to kill you anymore does not mean that I'm going to be nice, understand? You've done too many things to make me hate you, and I don't think this will change that," his voice was near a growl as he leaned in close to make sure Izaya was listening to every word.

Then, he laughed. He laughed so hard he began to cough and tears of strain gathered in his eyes as he was released, mostly from shock. "You're hilarious, Shizu-chan! Truly the most interesting thing to ever exist. Even I can't predict you, and that's saying something," Izaya continued to chuckle, rubbing his wrist before going completely serious. "I don't know what you were trying to achieve with that grand speech, but whatever it was, it didn't work,"

Angrily, the brute went back to the door, opening it with too much force and leaving a crack down the centre before storming out and slamming it behind him. "Fuck you, flea. Die, for all I care."

"Hmm, maybe I should sleep," Izaya whispered to himself as he grinned, ignoring a sudden ache in his chest he didn't want to identify.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to quell any confusion, this au's Izaya has some issues which I'll touch on soon in the story, shall we say. And so cause of that he's gonna be a bit more OOC again. Sorry. It's hard to write this kind of thing and keep all the characters perfectly ic cause I have to add some creative liberties to make it believable and actually work. However if it gets too unbelievable, tell me please. I'll change some things if necessary. Also I'm beta-ing this whole thing myself, so any mistakes... Sorry haha.
> 
> Also to all the people guessing why Iza's won't heal... You're right, he's rejecting it. But that's not why it won't heal, just a factor leading to it. *wink wink* Well done though, feel free to keep guessing!
> 
> Btw, seeing all the comments and kudos and hits and stuff makes me so happy, none of my fics have ever done so well before so quickly, so I'm super happy and inspired to keep going! Thank you all, you're all great! *internet cookies/cake/preferred treat to everyone*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> I'm on schedule for once!
> 
> This one, ugh. Don't like this one either. I promise things will pick up from here on out. I swear this time. It'll get interesting ;)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Sleep didn't come easy. Izaya normally slept with a hand under his pillow, his right one usually, and he tended to sleep restless anyway. He couldn't exactly afford to aggravate the wound under the bandage for fear of it opening up again, and he didn't want to get his sheets bloody.

Not to mention the slight nightmares he experienced each time he dozed off, being roughly awoken by fear of his future, or pangs of chest pain at the thought that his life was ruined. Frustratingly, for the one time where he actually wanted to sleep to escape reality, he couldn't.

Karma truly was a bitch. First having a soulmate, then it turning out to be the monster of Ikebukuro, the fact that he could very nearly have died that day had he bled out, and now he had to stay conscious to remember the whole terrible ordeal.

He also couldn't get the thought of Shizuo pinning him to his desk (roughly at that) out of his head. How disgusting this bond made him act. Deciding a shower might help him to discard of the crawling feeling under his skin, Izaya slowly climbed out of his bed and began to make his way to the bathroom.

Grabbing the fluffy black towels from his airing cupboard, and leaving them on a towel rack, he turned the shower on, turning up the temperature until a thick cloud of steam blurred his vision and then slipped out of his clothes. Although the sight of the white fabric wrapped around his wrist reminded him that he couldn't exactly get the bandage (or his wound) wet, as it'd reopen.

'Maybe that'd be a good idea, though,' he momentarily thought before frowning in confusion at the origin of that thought and leaving the bathroom to find a plastic food bag to cover it.

It was less than glamorous, but it was waterproof, and that was what mattered he supposed. Returning to the bathroom, he hopped into the shower and hissed loudly at the heat. It felt good though, and was a good distraction from everything else.

Just standing under the scalding water, Izaya felt slowly more in control of the situation. Coming up with a plan whilst his head was cleared by the heat of the water sounded like a useful way to utilise this time, even if he wouldn't follow it, if only to make him feel more at ease. He'd already decided it'd be a good way to get close to the brute, exploit him like he usually did with everyone else, after all, why not continue?

Shiki had always been suspicious of people with bonds, so he'd have to hide his from his boss, or he'd risk being fired (at the very least. He didn't want to think about what else could be done to him, the thought alone sending shivers through his body despite the burning heat he was surrounded by).

He'd keep researching for cures, or suppressants at the very least in order to keep the side effects of the bond at bay. Along with that, he'd also try to find other bonded couples who have issues, see how they worked it out (or didn't). Izaya needed knowledge about his situation in order to feel comfortable, not that he ever could in a situation like this.

Continuing to plan how he'd execute his research for over an hour, his thoughts quickly turned to the ways he was going to be forced to change thanks to this curse. He'd become emotionally unstable unless having been in contact or around his intended within the last 24 hours, and become lonely and prone to an uncharacteristic amount of sadness.

Izaya's sexual desires would all ultimately be focused on Shizuo, and he would end up needing to be sated quite often to avoid feeling ignored (which disgusted him). The need would also increase the longer apart they stay, and he had read somewhere about soulmates going into some form of heat if they ignored their needs for too long.

Beginning to feel like he was going to pass out from the scalding water, Izaya turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping his towels around him and groaning slightly in pain as the material irritated his blood red skin.

He thought, now that he was out of the shower, that having the water on such a high temperature was a really stupid idea, because now his whole body looked like a lobster, and he felt tingly and gross.

"It's better than the crawling under my skin," Izaya reminded himself as he dropped the towels and slipped under the covers, the cool fabric of his sheets making him sigh in relief as it soothed his irritated skin.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep now, and as he drifted off into a dreamless sleep, the last thing he thought in his sleep drugged mind was whether Shizuo was already asleep or not.

* * *

 

Izaya awoke to the feeling of a thousand bugs scratching and biting his skin. With a groan, he sat up, staring at his body as his skin peeled off and almost glistened a bright pink.

He had forgotten his shower, and sighed as he flopped back down onto the bed, trying to ignore the pain. Thankfully though, his bandage hadn't gotten wet, but the bandage looked to have been stained red again a little. The wound couldn't have reopened though, otherwise he wouldn't have woken up.

The sound of his doorbell ringing roused him again a few minutes later, prompting him to slowly wrap a dressing gown around his unfortunately ugly body and make his way to the door.

"Could it not wait for another few hours?" He asked before even looking to see who it was, rolling his eyes when he saw Shizuo raising an eyebrow at his appearance.

"Is it too early for you, flea? It's 3 in the afternoon, I thought you liked to get up early?" He snickered, pushing his way past him to sit on Izaya's couch. Just the sight of the brute making himself at home sent a shudder of rage (and nothing else) through him.

Closing the door, he followed him over and stood before him, plastering a fake smirk on his face. "I need my beauty sleep though, Shizu-chan. How else do you think I can look so beautiful?" He asked, hands on his hips.

A loud laugh shocked Izaya, as he frowned at the monster on his sofa. "What? That's so fucking ridiculous, Izaya. Have you seen yourself? You look so gross," Shizuo crossed his legs, resting his arms on the back of the furniture.

Shrugging, Izaya walked away as pain shot through his chest, making him gasp softly. It was the same pain as the night before when Shizuo left him, but worse. Like heartache, he guessed. Now that was gross. "You're one to talk, brute, I have a mirror in my bathroom if you want to truly experience gross,"

He hoped Shizuo had not heard the gasp of pain, and was thus relieved when he picked up the TV remote and began flicking through the channels. "Whatever. Go and get dressed, Shinra has compiled some research he found for you, so we're going to get it," he explained, only turning to look the shorter up and down before turning back to the TV.

Doing as he was told for once, Izaya made his way back to his bedroom, carefully sliding the dressing gown off his shoulders and staring at his arms as he reached for some clothes. Faded scars smiled up at him as he smiled back, happy that they were still there despite his peeling skin, and covering them with a long sleeved top.

After getting dressed, he skipped back to Shizuo, ignoring the friction induced pain of his skin against his clothes. "Come on then, Shizu-chan!" He chirped loudly, turning the television off. "Don't be so lazy, you'll never catch me if you get fat and old and boring,"

Rolling his eyes, Shizuo stood up and grabbed Izaya's wrist before he had a chance to move. "I think I'll be alright. How is it?" He asked, eyeing the slight red hue on the bandage.

"Fine. Let go," Izaya frowned, pulling his wrist out of the other's grip and opening the door. "Hurry up,"

Out on the street, it was somewhat harder not to run away from the brute. It was almost claustrophobic standing so close to him in broad daylight whilst everyone stared, different from the day before because they almost looked like friends.

Thankfully, it wasn't going to take too long to get to Shinra's, or else Izaya might've hailed a taxi for once to get there instead. The journey there was silent as Shizuo smoked one of his cigarettes and Izaya fiddled with his knives, both unhealthy coping mechanisms he mused.

The afternoon air was cold as the seasons shifted to autumn, a vast majority of the civilians around them wearing coats and holding flasks of hot tea and coffee. Izaya used to like autumn as people start to get more lethargic yet also excited for the upcoming festivities. Now though, he was sure it had been ruined for him thanks to this incident with the bond.

Sighing rather loudly, to indignantly voice his annoyance at the situation, Izaya stepped in front of Shizuo as they reached the underground doctor's residence, facing him. "Ne, Shizu-chan, tell me something," he began, reaching back to knock on the door. "You don't want this bond, do you?"

Although Izaya managed to seem nonchalant enough to be able to pass the question off as though it was nothing, the look on Shizuo's face said he wasn't prepared for that kind of thing. "What do you mean? Of course I do, it's just a shame it's you who I'm bonded to. It wouldn't be so bad if you weren't such a bitch, but at least I have one...?" He sounded unsure of his answer, or rather unsure of the question, as the door opened and Izaya glared before walking in.

Inside, he sprawled out over a sofa, for once not caring about seeming in control. "Shizuo said you had something for me?" He asked to Shinra, ignoring Celty's insistent typing about how he should've taken his shoes off.

His childhood friend smiled and passed him a brown enveloped which felt rather heavy just for some information. "In there is everything I could find through my connections about 'bad bonds', I think they call them. I also found you some suppressants," Izaya's eyes widened in shock, immediately opening the envelope and taking out the box of pills. "I will warn you though, they're still in trial, which is why only I could get them. If you miss one dose once you start, the effects of the bond will hit you like a 10-tonne truck. Even worse if it's after a while of taking them,"

Staring at the pills, Izaya began to laugh happily. "You know me too well, Shinra," he exclaimed, reading the dosage information and storing the other information away. "Hey Shizu-chan, look! Seems I won't be dependent on you!" Proud. That's how he felt. His life could be set back on track thanks to these wonder pills. Inside the box was also a prescription receipt, telling him he'd have a delivery of them once a month and the price.

Shizuo simply grunted, moving to the kitchen after Celty, probably to get away from him. He didn't care, too overwhelmed with the exhilarating rush of relief within his veins.

"You know you should be a little more considerate of his feelings, Izaya," Shinra berated him, plucking the tablets from the informant's hands and putting them on the table. "It's not just you whose life will change,"

"Oh shut up, you're ruining my happiness Shinra," he sighed in reply, eyes following the pills as if transfixed. "He's a monster, monsters don't have feelings,"

"Really? Because I'd say he was more human than you," the doctor mentioned offhandedly as if it was a simple statement. Izaya frowned, sitting up properly and snatching the pills off the table and swallowing two. "I think you're the monster."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've alluded to some future events in here, hehe.
> 
> It ended badly? But oh well. Also the scars thing... Well, you'll see.
> 
> Next chapter Izaya's gonna have a bad time I think.
> 
> Also, gonna put the rating up again because smut. Haha, that'll come soon.
> 
> My updates are gonna take longer, I only started college last week and I've been overloaded with homework so... Please be patient with me! 
> 
> Anyway, have a good day, hope you enjoyed, and see you next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey...
> 
> Very late update. Sorry...
> 
> So this one is short. I keep promising that it'll get better and then it doesn't, but ya know. Soon, there will be good shit.
> 
> I'll explain myself in the after notes so you can get straight to reading.
> 
> Enjoy!

  
After seeing Shinra and taking his envelope of research (and pills), Izaya left Shizuo there to talk to the inhabitants of the apartment and headed home, already feeling much better after popping two of the pills. Not even Shinra's dimwitted comment about him being the monster and not Shizuo could faze him, he was in a good mood for the first time in what felt like forever, but was actually just two days. 

Izaya had never truly appreciated his freedom before. Sure, he knew he was lucky to be such a free individual, compared especially to the people under his control, yet he hadn't appreciated it for its beauty. They say you only realise you had something once you've lost it, and now Izaya was experiencing such a humane phenomena. How exciting. 

The panic of the last few days had left him exhausted, and after changing his bandages once he got home, he fell into an uncharacteristically deep sleep again as soon as his head hit the pillow.

* * *

 

The following day, Izaya decided to take a break, because Lord knew he needed one. It was simply a question of what to do. He couldn't risk being seen by Shiki before he went himself, or it'd be dangerous. Although, some ootoro sounded great right about now.

"Ah, decisions decisions..." Izaya muttered softly, making himself a coffee so he could fully wake up. He'd given Namie the week off a few days ago, before the whole incident even began, due to 'some family business' she had to deal with, and he couldn't be bothered with the repercussions of not letting her off. He just wouldn't pay her.

Taking his coffee over to his desk, Izaya spun in his chair so he was facing the window, staring out at his world. Somewhere out there, Shizu-chan was probably wreaking havoc, the thought making Izaya laugh softly before looking at his wrist. It still hurt quite badly, but thankfully the pain in his chest had gone.

Unwrapping the bandage, he stared at the pretty cursive font curling around his wrist, spelling his unhappiness. It looked infected, if he were to be honest, but it was just likely a side effect of the stuff Shinra put on it the other day. The words themselves were raised and blood red, but not bleeding thankfully. The skin around it was also an angry red, and painful to the touch, making Izaya wince at the thought.

He wrapped the bandage back around it, to hide it, and finished his coffee before standing and stretching. Checking the clock, Izaya decided it was as good a time as any to get some sushi, so he placed his mug in the kitchen, grabbed his favourite coat and left his apartment.

The walk to Ikebukuro was pleasant enough, the cold air refreshing and calming at the same time. Maybe it was a little risky, making his trip to Russia Sushi, when he could've gone to any other sushi place where he'd be less likely to bump into trouble, but it was the only place that got it just right, and he could also say hello to Simon.

The Russian man was stood outside, handing out flyers as usual. " _Привет_! (Hi!)" Izaya greeted, hands in his pockets as he walked over to the Russian man.

" _Изая, что нового?_ (Izaya, what's new?)" Simon replied, passing one of the flyers to the shorter man. For Izaya, it was easier to converse with the man in Russian, the conversations usually flowing with a lot more fluidity than their conversations in Japanese. " _Я думал что ты болел_. (I thought you were ill)"

Izaya laughed softly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly as though he didn't care much. He didn't. " _Не совсем. И сейчас уже всё нормально, я бы даже сказал, очень и очень хорошо!_ (No, not quite. I'm fine now, very very good in fact!)" Subconsciously, he wrapped a hand around his wrist and grinned, walking forward into the building, listening to Simon expressing his worry before spouting something about special sushi they have.

He sat in a booth towards the back of the establishment, as Simon disappeared into the kitchen to prepare Izaya's ootoro. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself a moment to enjoy the atmosphere of the place. It wasn't too heavy, or too loud, but just right to be relaxing to him.

When Simon came back with his sushi, he sat opposite, causing Izaya to look up in slight confusion. Normally he'd leave to go back outside to promote the restaurant, but here he was, facing Izaya with a frown. " _Я знаю, Изая. Шизуо рассказал мне о вас._ (I know, Izaya. Shizuo told me about you (as in 'you two'))"

The piece of sushi that was on its way into Izaya's mouth froze, slowly being replaced back onto the plate as he felt a wash of panic crash into him, eyes wide. " _Он сказал тебе что...?_ (He told you what...?)" How could he? That beast, spreading such sensitive information when Izaya's whole livelihood depended on it.

"It is no matter, Izaya," Simon said, switching to Japanese, possibly to make it easier for Izaya, which was futile, he was fluent anyway. "I had guessed that it may be case. _Это ничего_. (It's okay.)"

" _Как это ничего?_! (How is it okay?!)" Izaya lashed out, standing up and glaring down at Simon. "... _Извини_... (... Sorry...)" He muttered, sitting back down slowly at the concerned look he received.

"Izaya, is okay because it is with Shizuo. You may not see it now, but I was not surprised when he told me," the Russian man told him, smiling like he knew something. "You two only think of each other the most anyway, it was happening sooner or later."

Simon then left him to eat the sushi in peace, stewing in his thoughts. Is that what everyone saw between the two of them? Surely not, they hated each other.

After he finished his fatty tuna, Izaya left after paying, making his way back to Shinjuku. Tomorrow he'd get back to work.

* * *

 

Down a dark alley, a figure cloaked in shadows watched as the fur coat clad man walked past, eyes never leaving the figure as he followed the other back to his residence.

"Hello boss? He just went home... Yeah, from Ikebukuro. Okay, I'll call in the morning when he leaves." The silhouette hung up from the phone, going back down another alley in which Izaya's complex could be watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So... As I said, I started college in September and it has been hectic as all hell... I've got so much homework, and I never get a break. So updates are going to be super slow from now on. Sorry.
> 
> There's Russian in this chapter. I'm learning it at college, but I'm not fluent, so any mistakes that you might know, feel free to tell me! (I put the translations in parentheses so you don't have to check what they mean after.) As predicted, I needed help so thanks to Lexis_Blake (I can't link you sorry) for the corrections!
> 
> I've also kind of had writer's block these past few weeks, so that didn't help.
> 
> Anyway, see you in the next chapter where shit's gonna go down. (Hopefully)
> 
> Bye bye!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Happy new year!
> 
> Again, I'll give my excuses to you all at the end, so you can get on and read. 
> 
> Shizuo's POV this time, to make up for the wait I thought I'd give you something different. 
> 
> He's possibly even more OOC than Izaya so warning.
> 
> Enjoy!

The pain in his chest just wouldn't leave. And it had only gotten worse since Izaya began taking those pills. If he were to be honest, Shizuo could very happily go and beat that flea up right this second. But that would be against his morals, and as much as he'd love to see the other's face twisted in pain, just the thought, despite being pleasing, made Shizuo cringe in worry.

Honestly. Just when he thought his life couldn't get much worse, what with the flea always bugging him and people always running away from him, something shitty like this happens.

He was just minding his own business when that stupid thought came up and then Izaya got the mark and then he did and it was like something out of a cliché romance novel. Only worse because they didn't get the happy ending.

Of course he'd heard of how great soulmate marks were, seen a few happy soulmate couples here and there, but obviously he didn't think it would happen to him. After all, he was a monster. Monsters didn't deserve love, no matter how much he wanted it.

And then it had to be Izaya! He'd rather not have one, he liked to think. Although, maybe he had some hope that it wouldn't actually be that bad. He could manage, as long as that flea would just hurry up and be reasonable.

Maybe he wasn't the one to be thinking in such a way, after all, Izaya would never be reasonable, and to hope so was a wasted opportunity on better things, not to mention his own reasonability.

Deliberation wasn't helping, Shizuo decided as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He didn't know what would help, but he knew it wasn't thinking, and so he stepped out of his flat and started to walk.

He assumed he had a face like thunder, thanks to the way in which people cleared away from him like scurrying rats, but Shizuo found that he didn't care about them, or how he must've looked.

"Ugh, damn flea..." Mumbling to himself, Shizuo continued on his walk to wherever his feet took him. The cold weather helped to ease his mind as he wandered, bringing him back to his more calm thoughts.

If he thought hard enough, Shizuo hoped, then maybe he'd find a solution to the problem at hand. Despite small odds, it wasn't impossible and so he didn't want to rule out the possibility of him finding the answer to this debacle.

Shizuo thought, in this moment of clarity, that the best place to start would be the beginning.

He remembered the first day he met Izaya, already angry enough after destroying the high school's football field after a fight without needing a new annoyance. The air was charged with tension--

"No, that sounds like a badly written romance story..." Shizuo muttered to himself. It wasn't quite so poetic.

\--He'd had enough that day and just wanted to go home when an odd scent filtered through the air. It was almost prickly, and Shizuo innately sprang into defense mode. The smell was that of danger, of mistrust and deception. Shizuo hated that smell.

Then the smarmy bastard decided to start talking and it took everything Shizuo had not to snarl at the sound. It grated on his eardrums and sent a shudder of dislike down his spine. How could anyone's voice sound so annoying whilst having the ability to ensnare someone without so much as a finger lifted? Again, the urge to get rid of this being rose up within him like an ugly beast, raring to destroy, destroy, destroy.

But then, when he lunged and the insect slid away from him so expertly, even managing to slice at his chest before standing a fair distance away from the completely smashed bench it had been sat on a moment before, something akin to excitement coursed through his veins.

An opponent that might allow him to focus all his anger on itself and always manage to slip away without harm? It sounded perfect, maybe they were meant to meet like this.

Wishful thinking. He annoyed Shizuo so much that he began to regret thinking that in the first place. How stupid could he be? Two monsters could never help each other, especially when one of them was the flea.

Maybe he'd subconsciously realised then, that they were soulmates. Obviously he didn't love him back then, and couldn't believe he might now, but he knew something was different.

Alas, wandering down memory lane had taken him off of his original course to God knows where, and instead he recognised the street as the one Izaya's apartment building was located. Great.

"All roads lead to Izaya, not Rome. Really?" Shizuo huffed out, exasperated at his own internal compass and its stupid soulmate location. What good was it to even be here? Being near Izaya obviously wouldn't help this situation.

As he walked past an alleyway opposite Izaya's apartment building, the hairs on the back of his neck bristled. Something wasn't right. He looked up to the top floor, Izaya's apartment, and saw him by the window, on his phone. Typical. But that didn't explain the uneasiness he was feeling.

Turning around to look into the alley, he noticed a dark shadow pressed up against the wall as if it was trying to hide from something. Or someone.

Knowing this particular alleyway had another entrance, Shizuo continued walking as if he didn't notice a thing, bristling with anger. If this was what he thought it was, that shadow was in for hell.

Peeking down the alleyway from behind, Shizuo's suspicions appeared to be correct. The dark shadow was actually a man wearing a suit, taking pictures of Izaya, stood by the window. His lip immediately curled as he strode over to the man and kicked him in the knees from behind.

"What the fuck are you doing, huh, taking pictures of Izaya?!" He yelled, picking the man up by his collar after he fell to the floor.

Instead of answering, the man took a picture of Shizuo, blinding him with the flash. Of course, it only angered him further and so he punched the man until he heard the satisfying crack of ribs echo in the alleyway. He didn't like violence, but the need to protect Izaya was overly powerful at this point.

Picking up the phone, Shizuo flipped through the photos, all of them pictures of Izaya doing his normal things. Quite a few were zoomed in on his wrist. Oh. A few even showed the bandages. Leaving the gallery and looking through the contacts, he found there was only one. Shiki's.

That was bad news. He didn't know the guy all too well, but he knew enough not to trust anything with him. Shizuo also knew of his anti-bond perspective. If he found out that Izaya had a bond, that would be absolutely terrible.

So he dropped the phone to the floor and stood on it hard before walking away like nothing happened. Might as well go back home now, he had calmed down a little, thanks to the feeling of content that stemmed from protecting his soulmate.

* * *

Stretching a hand out, the suited man picked up the broken phone as he coughed up a bit of blood. Throwing the remnants of the phone into a nearby bin, he held on tight to an SD card that had been in the phone.

Putting his hand in his jacket pocket, he pulled out a different phone that had thankfully avoided destruction.

Dialling the only number placed in the phone, he held it gingerly against his ear and spoke. "I-I have proof--" He coughed. "Boss. Someone w-will have to come to m-me." Then, hanging up, he closed his eyes and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Where to start. Basically I'm gonna be shitty and just say college and depression have destroyed my motivation and sense of will.
> 
> I've also not been feeling well recently so that hasn't helped. The amount of homework I get is excessive. I get 3 hours of homework almost every day so life's been hard recently.
> 
> So yeah, that's why it's taken months to update. I hope you can forgive me.
> 
> But don't worry! Like I've said before, I will never abandon this fanfic, as I love it so much. 
> 
> So please hold out on me!
> 
> Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

Pissed off would be a good way to put how Izaya felt at the moment. He guessed it was a side effect of the suppressants, but his thoughts were constantly all jumbled up. If there was one thing he was most proud of, it was his canny ability to keep all his thoughts in order. He was a genius, for crying out loud, and this stupid bond had found yet another way to break him. He wouldn't let it though.

Izaya had a sneaking suspicion that Shizuo had resigned to the fact that he was never going to accept a bond with the monster. Good. At least he hoped that was the case. He had noticed someone following him around (which wasn't too unusual), but if the beast had put someone up to it, well that just made him angry. After all, what right did he have, to keep tabs on him, their bond was nothing more than an annoying obstacle in Izaya's path for godliness.

Alas, he had another job today, and in order to keep Shiki's suspicions at bay, he had to make sure everything he did was normal. It was only for a little longer, until the suppressants started reversing the effects, or he found an actual cure, and then he wouldn't have to hide anything.

"Simple job, the exchanging of information about a specific person Shiki's trailing for money." He explained to himself, pulling on his fur collared coat, and as he took one last look at his apartment before he left, Izaya let a small frown slide onto his face. He was tired of hiding everything he had become. 

* * *

The walk to the meeting was slow but without issue. The job went down smoothly, and he got all the information he needed to relay to Shiki in a quick and easy manner. All that was left now was to go home and take his medicine, already beginning to feel light headed and emotional. In his rush that morning, he had forgotten to take his morning dose, which he couldn't believe he'd done. It was imperative he take every dose at exactly the right time or he could risk a relapse, and here he was, walking proof of that.

"Ugh, I wish things could go back to normal..." He muttered to himself under his breath, pulling his coat around him against a cold breeze that threatened to make him shiver in his weakened state. "This sucks." 

A sudden gasp was pulled from his lungs as his arm was yanked and he was dragged down into a dark side street, unlit by street lights. It reeked of garbage and urine, and Izaya could even smell a hint of blood. This is exactly what he didn’t need right now.

"Hey, what's this about?" Izaya asked, calmly despite his slightly racing heart. This was going to become a problem for him if he couldn’t escape this situation soon, feeling a shudder of fear spread down his spine. Under normal circumstances, Izaya’s control over his emotions was impeccable, but he was not in any normal condition.

Without uttering a word, Izaya’s assailant threw a punch towards his face, just slow enough for him to dodge the other’s fist. However, this caused him to stumble, and he suddenly felt arms constrict around him, shock making him gasp as he hadn’t noticed another person. Izaya tried to squirm his way out, freeing a pocket knife from his sleeve before stabbing an arm wrapped around his chest. 

Despite his rather skilled and, no doubt, painful retort, his captor held tight, not even letting out a noise of protest at the stinging pain Izaya was sure he must have caused. The other man in the alley, the original assailant, approached him with two rather dirty looking rags, wrapping one around Izaya’s eyes, fastening it tight at the back of his head, catching at least a handful of his hair in the knot.

Feeling a hand grip his jaw tight, he was forced to open his mouth wide, a small amount of his quickly dwindling pride preventing him from calling out to the pedestrians not too far away for help. The second rag was unceremoniously stuffed into his mouth, and the fingers withdrew before he had a chance to bite them. This rag too was tied at the back of his neck, angling his head up in a way that was close to painful, but not quite tipping over the balance. 

Still squirming around, in the naïve hope that he could somehow free himself from this situation, Izaya began to truly panic. It didn’t happen often to the man, and when it did, it passed not too long after it started. And even then, it was usually a fit of hysteria, easily masking the panic with his manic laughter that unnerved people all too often. But this was different. This wasn’t just one of his elaborate games falling apart, this wasn’t Shizuo being unpredictable.

This was fear. Izaya could die here. His end might be here, or in five minutes, or at the other end of the blindfold right now. He could feel the bile rising up his throat, his body flashing cold at the thought of an imminent death. He wasn’t scared of anything except the most inevitable of occurrences. The only thing every human on the planet was guaranteed to do at some point.

Then he was let go. Confused but for a moment, Izaya stumbled away from where he presumed his attackers were, only to be gripped at the wrist, harsh, eliciting a pained cry from his gagged mouth. He felt the fabric of his coat being pulled up to reveal the bandage, stained red and slightly sticky, before the assailants both snickered quietly but deeply, in a way so unsettling it sent shivers down Izaya's spine.

His wrists were bound together tight with what felt like several zip ties, expertly administered despite the way Izaya was still attempting to writhe away. A wave of helplessness crashed into him, the panic rising again, tightly clenching his teeth to prevent himself from screaming. Izaya needed to calm down, needed to think rationally, needed to focus like he normally could. This was no bigger a threat than any other he'd faced before, and he wasn't going to let them get the better of him any more than they already had.

Feeling his tied hands being pulled back in the direction he was grabbed from, Izaya was shoved into a car, that smelt heavily of cigarette smoke and expensive alcohol, a smell he was vaguely familiar with. The seats felt smooth and almost slippery, like high quality leather that had been worn down through use, but still relatively pristine, suggesting a newer car.

He tried to push the gag out of his mouth using his tongue, but found that it was tied too tight around his head to move. Izaya needed to know where he was going; the lack of orientation was beginning to make him even more worried. Clearly this was orchestrated by someone experienced, a professional. He had an idea of who it was, and honestly, Izaya would be surprised if it was anyone other than him. 

The car came to a quiet stop, and the doors opened. Izaya could hear a slight sloshing of water nearby, which narrowed down the places where he had been taken. Someone began to pull at his arm, dragging him in the opposite direction to the water as a metallic sounding door opened nearby.

Their footsteps echoed throughout the large space he had been brought to, and suddenly he knew where he was; a warehouse complex where Kida Masaomi led the Yellow Scarves meetings. It was cold, the air was damp, and as his blindfold was removed, he could see the grimy metal and exposed insulation.

“I assume that you know why you’re here, Orihara-kun,” a deep, gravelly voice spoke from behind him, and Izaya’s suspicions were confirmed. “I don’t like people who keep secrets from me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow hey guys wassup? Been over a year ^^; how's things?
> 
> Imma just say sorry, hopefully this won't happen again but like I've said before I'm never giving up on this one.
> 
> My reason is mental health shit, I'm not well. But I wrote this! More soon hopefully.
> 
> Sorry guys for making you wait, this chapter isnt my best work but it should get better 
> 
> X


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains content some may find triggering. I highly suggest you heed this warning. It is not the worst content, but it still may trigger some so please, put your own health and safety first.
> 
> Contains: capture, violence, torture, trauma, abuse, blood, gore, and generally a lot of things that may cause discomfort.
> 
> Thank you.

Izaya wasn’t afraid of Shiki, he never had been. He was just another pawn in the complicated game he played. But Shiki had power, and now Izaya was unfortunately caught in his web, weakened and without an easy escape.

Being forced to sit on a metal chair in the middle of the floor, Izaya felt his legs being tied to it. Deciding to spare his energy, he didn’t react, and simply smiled as Shiki entered his line of sight. “Shiki-san, so nice to see you,” he drawled, keeping the panic out of his voice and face. He needed to appear calm and un-bothered, to manipulate him as he usually did.

"I wish I could say the same thing to you," Shiki began, not even looking at Izaya as he walked around the chair, carrying himself with an almost comical, if not for the circumstances, powerful air. "Tell me, what are you doing here?"

Humming softly in mock concentration, Izaya grinned shakily, although he hoped it wasn't noticeable. "Why, as if you don't know, Shiki-san, after all, it is your men who dragged me here. You do realise I have work to be doing, for you in fact, right now?" He hoped he could bluff his way out of this situation before any real harm could be done, keeping his best interests at heart. Shiki was, albeit easy to use and mould to his own desires, a dangerous man of high standing, and Izaya didn't have a plan for a problem like this.

Well, he didn't have a plan for a problem like a soulmate either, so maybe he should start planning for even more things than just the events he expected.

"Oh Izaya, don't make this worse for yourself." The yakuza boss suddenly placed his hands on the arms of the chair, leaning into Izaya's personal space and smirking in a malicious way. "Tell me about Shizuo Heiwajima, Izaya. What is he to you?"

Izaya's convictions quickly dissolved at the mention of Shizuo's name, the panic climbing back up his throat and his heart skipped a beat, like some heroine of a shoujo manga. Pathetic. "I..." Clearing his throat, the panic only got worse as he stalled, realising that he was giving himself away, but there was nothing he could do about it. "I don't know why you're bringing that brute up, Shiki-san." He finally said, a noticeable waver in his voice. He cringed.

Shiki nodded sarcastically, a cold grin on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hmm... What happened to your silver tongue Izaya? You're acting a little out of character don't you think?" His breath ghosted over Izaya's face, making him recoil, trying as subtly as possible to put more distance between them. "We'll, if you can't tell me that, then you can tell me what that bandage is on your arm. What happened?"

For whatever reason, Izaya considered telling Shiki the truth. Maybe it was some misguided try at keeping him as calm as possible, but he knew that that was just going to make it worse. "Shizuo just managed to catch me last time, so hopefully you can understand why I wouldn't want people knowing that," he lied, voice still shaky but a lot more confident, the lie believable. "Now if that's all, I don't see why you had to kidnap me like this, Shiki-san."

A cold, sharp laugh echoed around the warehouse, a shudder running down Izaya's spine at the split and dissonant sound. "You really are stupid, Izaya. You think I'd fall for a lie? You know, I'm actually hurt that you regard me so lowly, especially considering how much power I have over you right now," Shiki sneered, hand wrapping around the bandage cruelly, a pained gasp leaving Izaya's throat. "Why does your pulse elevate at the mention of your enemy? Why have you been spotted together, not fighting? Why, may I ask, is Shizuo now protecting you instead of doing the exact opposite?"

"Shiki-san, you aren't making sense," he answered, covering the panic resurfacing yet again with condescension. "You sound paranoid," he added, attempting to make his posture more relaxed at the same time as trying to relieve some of the pressure on his wrist. "And I honestly have no idea what you're talking about; Shizuo wouldn't protect me from anything."

Clearly incensed, Shiki dug his nails into his wrist, making Izaya cry out quietly at the pain. Shocked by his reaction, he struggled in his bonds which only happened to make the pain worse. Funny, Izaya had had much worse injuries before, and he knew he had a high pain threshold. Screw Shizuo and screw this whole soulmate thing. This whole situation was becoming a very bad nightmare. "I had one of my men follow you, to see if the rumours about you having a soulmate were true. And guess who noticed and decided to do something about it? Your knight in shining armour. How valiant of him, protecting his soulmate even though he despises him. But he can't save you now."

Suddenly, something rough and dark was placed around his head, tightened around Izaya's neck. It felt like a burlap sack, and smelt like rot and damp. The rope tying it around his neck only tightened more, beginning to cut off his airflow until each breath became a struggled wheeze. There was no way this was going to go well. Next, the bonds tying him to the chair were loosened, before he was roughly tossed to the floor, his hands and feet tied together tightly once again, along with his thighs tied tight together and his arms at his back. But then the footsteps receded, leaving Izaya alone in the centre of the warehouse building, completely immobilised, and helpless.

* * *

 

He didn't know how long it had been since he'd been left, but he had managed to squirm his way towards the direction of a slight breeze, trying to find a way to escape. Unfortunately his efforts came up fruitless, the doors seemingly bolted tight. There was no one around to help, not that anyone would, and there was no escape. No matter how much he struggled, the bonds didn't budge, and only tightened around his soulmate mark. He was sure he could feel blood slowly dripping out of his wrist, not quickly enough to be a concern but it could become a problem soon if he exacerbated it. He couldn't reach his knives in his pockets, if they were even there. He didn't remember if he still had them in his pocket, and that was worrying. His mind seemed a little foggy, and that hadn't happened since he had a fever when he was 13.

Maybe it was due to the lack of oxygen he was currently receiving, but he'd experienced worse asphyxia before and still managed to keep a mostly clear mind. It was something Izaya enjoyed practicing, quite often keeping his head submerged under the bath for as long as he could, and then longer. Then he had a moment of clarity. He had completely forgotten that, after being tied up for so long, he must’ve missed about three doses of his suppressants. That was certainly not good, and a chill spread goose bumps over his skin. What were the withdrawal symptoms? He couldn’t recall, but he knew they couldn’t be good.

Shizuo. He wanted Shizuo more than he wanted to escape. The suddenness of this feeling made him collapse to the floor quickly, hitting his head in the process. Izaya was stunned. He could feel himself yearning for the other, wanting anything and everything he could give to him, a heat curling in his stomach, even though that made his lip curl in disgust. This was no time to be feeling lust for the brute, but he just couldn’t help it.

Trying to squash it down, he struggled more fervently, hoping to dislodge any of the bonds, but to no avail. The only response he got was discomfort before a loud bang echoed around the warehouse. Sounding like a gunshot, Izaya automatically tried to make himself as small a target as possible. If Shiki had a gun, then there was no way this would end well.

“I see you’re awake then, Izaya. I think it’s time for a little fun, don’t you agree?” Shiki exclaimed, a hand wrapping around the material tying his hands together to haul him up into a kneeling position.

Before he could react, a torrent of freezing cold water cascaded over him from a height, making his teeth clack together and his breath become even shorter than it had been before. On the bright side however, it did manage to stagnate the lust coiling in his stomach, and distract him from the withdrawal symptoms of his suppressants. Unfortunately, it kept streaming over him, so they must’ve been hosing him with it.

It seemed to go on forever, until it actually stopped feeling cold, and started to sync with the temperature of his body, when it stopped, leaving him breathless and panting. “Just wanted to make sure you were awake, just in case. Wouldn’t want you to miss out on all this fun we’re about to have.” A deeper voice said, a bit further away than Shiki had been. Izaya scowled beneath the bag over his face, now clinging to him with the water soaked through. Fun? He hoped it wasn’t going to be what he thought it would, because there was no way he’d be able to resist anything in his current state.

“We don’t want to spoil anything, keep your mouth shut,” Shiki warned the other man, shuffling closer to Izaya and then lowering himself to his level. “Consider this payment for lying to me, and neglecting to tell me about a very significant change to your life and ability to work for me.”

A crackling sound near his ear sent him into a panic, as a searing pain spread from his left side all the way across his body, convulsions sending him to the floor. His whole body shook, nerves on fire and his skin near the impact site burning. He had no control over his body anymore, flailing helplessly, teeth gritted tight as tears flooded his eyes.

It felt like forever before the object moved away, leaving him choking and with limbs like jelly. Everything ached, and he guessed it must’ve been a cattle prod. Izaya had never experienced an electric shock on a comparable level before, and he hoped to never experience it again.

Nevertheless, the pain soon resumed from the side of his neck, causing his brain to short circuit and feel almost empty, wanting to scream but unable to move his jaw. The convulsions only got worse the longer the prod was in contact with his skin, before it moved to his inner thigh, tears freely falling from his eyes as they rolled into the back of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took less than a year so well done me lol.  
> also the next chapter is already written? gasp, im ahead for once  
> i have more spare time now because i dropped out of college due to my health but im feeling better already so yay.  
> i just wanna say thank you to all, truly, because you all inspire me to do better with my writing.  
> (ps, i struggle to read the first few chapters now because im embarrassed by them haha, i feel like ive definitely improved.)  
> this story is definitely beginning to get super ooc and i dont even know how to change that but hey ho.  
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter anyway, chapter 9 out soon.
> 
> (pps, follow me on tumblrrrrr https://bunnythatflies.tumblr.com/)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains content some readers may find triggering, so please exercise caution and only read it if you are sure you want to. Contains: more torture, scalding, sexual assault, attempted rape, body trauma, eye trauma.
> 
> This chapter was written at the same time as the last one, can you believe that???

A considerable amount of time later, the pain stopped, and the cattle prod was thrown to the side judging by the clatter of metal hitting the concrete floor. It was almost mortifying how quickly he became a mess from just being shocked, it wasn’t even the worst thing anyone had done to him before.

He was dragged up into a kneeling position once more, his bound legs tight together. The bag was lifted off of Izaya’s head, his eyes blurry and burning from the sudden exposure to light. All he could make out were random shapes, some stationary, others not. He guessed there must’ve been at least 7 other people in the room, including Shiki. As his vision began to clear, he could make out the shapes of the cattle prod on the floor to the side of Shiki, a paring knife in his hand and a grin on his face.

“That didn’t take long to make you a mess, did it Izaya?” Shiki mocked, waving the knife around nonchalantly, the long blade glinting dangerously in the orange light. “I never thought you’d be the type to cry so quickly from just being shocked. It’s kind of embarrassing huh?” The other men in the warehouse laughed with Shiki, a cruel sound that made Izaya want to curl up into a ball. “But no need to worry, it’s only going to get worse for you now. Less embarrassing that way.”

Izaya didn’t have a chance to say anything before the knife began cutting its way through his clothes, tearing his top and trousers down the middle. This couldn’t be happening, he must still be in a daze from the electrification. But the feeling of cold damp air against his bare skin was no figment of his imagination, and he let out a shaky breath as he resigned himself to whatever was going to happen next.

Shiki left his boxers on him as he removed the rest of his clothes without untying his hands and legs. Izaya saw a man directly in front of him bend down and pick up a hose, and knowing what was coming next, he braced himself for the cold water to chill him to his core. He felt the first spray hit him, chilling him before it suddenly became too hot to even register, the man holding the hose wearing heat proof gloves.

Izaya’s skin began to turn a deep shade of red, the pain almost worse than the mind numbing convulsions he experienced a few minutes ago. None of the water sprayed on his face or head, but that didn’t make the situation any better. He watched in abject horror as his skin took on a mottled red and purple colour, knowing that it was going to begin to blister soon, reaching the dermis and causing what would later be scars.

The water soon stopped, the cool air soothing his scalded skin only a little before he began shivering from the pain. It was just water, he could live with this.

Before he could even begin to truly evaluate his current injuries, another loud gunshot rang out through the warehouse, this time followed by an excruciating pain in his right shoulder, shouting out at the pain. Immediately he felt his arm go rigid before losing any feeling there as the adrenaline coursed through his body. He was going to die here, half naked and shamefully weak.

* * *

 

A distant noise made him perk up a little, shocking him as his eyes opened. When had he shut them?

Izaya must’ve blacked out from the pain, as the crowd of people surrounding him had significantly increased without him noticing, and his skin was visibly blistered and angry looking. He also had a few rather shallow and mostly superficial cuts across his abdomen and thighs, and the blood on his arm from his gunshot wound had dried up and turned a deep brick red colour.

Shiki was sat in the chair he had been tied to before directly in his eye line, a venomous smirk plastered on his face like a badge of honour. Without saying a word, he gestured to his men towards Izaya, and three of them stepped forward, one holding some kind of ice pick, and the other two stood to the sides of Izaya, holding him tightly by the upper arms, completely restricting any kind of movement. The one holding the pick smiled cruelly as he moved closer, the sight shaking Izaya to his core, eyes widening in fear. Izaya knew exactly what it was meant for, but he couldn’t struggle away, he could only sit and await the inevitable devastation.

The man squatted down to his level, holding the ice pick in his hand like a pen, an evil glint in his eyes as he reached forward and held Izaya’s left eye open. Frozen in place, Izaya tried to close his eyes as tight as possible, knowing it wouldn’t help in the slightest but being powerless to do anything else.

A sudden clashing noise towards the back of the warehouse caused the three men around him to look away, giving Izaya a chance to shuffle back and to the side, wincing in pain from his multiple injuries but with resolve to get away from impending doom.

The clashing noise was followed by an almost monstrous roar and Izaya’s whole body relaxed with the relief he never thought would accompany such a sound.

The men ganging up on him quickly turned back to him however, and he panicked as they grappled him to the floor, the ice pick nowhere in sight but a crazed desperation in their eyes. What now?

“So you think you can call your monster on us without any repercussions? Idiot,” The biggest of the three growled before tearing Izaya’s boxers from his body, taking the bandage around his wrist with it and causing a cascade of blood to pour from the words in his wrist. From losing so much blood without any aid of a coagulant both from his wrist and shoulder, his lack of suppressants, and also from the physical exertion of the torture he had just endured, his mind began to wander in a desperate attempt to keep him from losing it as he laid on the floor in a very compromising position, the three men touching him in places he didn’t ever want anyone to go near.

A dry, thick finger began to breach him without haste, but he didn’t feel it, his mind almost completely separate from his body at this point, experiencing the whole ordeal from a 3rd perspective. A second finger joined the other inside his entrance, splitting him wide and tearing the delicate muscles there as another hand opened his mouth wide and pushed three fingers deep into his throat, causing him to gag but still not ‘awaken’ from his out of body experience.

But at the sound of a zipper being pulled down, he was brought back to the current issue, and given a chance by a chair leg hitting the shortest of his assailants, he scrambled away in shock, forcing the fingers out of himself at the detriment of his already abused throat and hole, angry and humiliated that he had let anyone violate him with so little argument. With this new sudden surge of adrenaline, and therefore a surprising lack of pain, Izaya managed to break the bonds around his wrists and arms and began grabbing around for the ice pick he knew must’ve been dropped not too far away, only slightly inconvenienced by the men attacking him as they tried to stop him.

Once he had wrapped his hands around it, he brandished it with an air of victory, before stabbing the man currently boxing him underneath himself in the cheek and rolling out from under him before he collapsed. It had seemed the one that had been hit with the flying chair leg had been knocked out, and the one he had just stabbed seemed to be struggling with the shock and pain of his new wound. Focusing all of his dwindling attention on the last man in front of him, he stabbed around with the ice pick without abandon, unable to stand but agile enough due to the adrenaline to keep up with the man regardless.

Izaya threw the ice pick with accuracy, hitting him squarely in the eye, a feat he would have considered amazing without being half dead already. He watched as he fell to the floor, screams of agony echoing around him before he collapsed, coughing up blood, the sudden surge of energy leaving him as quickly as it came, his mind beginning to shut down rapidly before he blacked out completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I actually wrote this chapter on the 6th of june 18, whats the future like guys??? Im actually really proud of these two chapters, because im good at making my faves suffer haha. They were originally one chapter but I decided to split them in half because it made sense and also followed the same sort of word count for my other chapters. Hope you enjoyed!  
> and early update cause i wanted to treat yall
> 
> (also, on a completely unrelated topic, does anyone watch Voltron? Cause season 6 ruined me and im actually dead)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello from the pasttttt. Also follows straight after Shizuo's last pov, but im not good with timing so may seem a little out of the timeline lol.

When Shizuo got home, it took all he had to not smash everything in his apartment in frustration. God. Everything sucked. He, instead, decided to light up another cigarette and flopped onto his sofa, hearing the wooden planks underneath creak indignantly at his sudden weight. As the smoke spread through his lungs, he felt himself calm almost immediately, not by much but enough to prevent him destroying all of his belongings.

Looking at the now scabbed over words on his wrist he sighed, rolling his eyes and taking another deep drag of his cigarette. His life was bad before, but now, hell, it was absolute crap. Everything he did now seemed to centre around the flea, well, even more than it used to. He always ended up outside his apartment complex, at Russia Sushi or Shinra’s. Before it was bad, when he’d bump into Izaya in the streets of Ikebukuro, but recently, it was like everywhere he went was because of Izaya. And he loved it as much as he hated it.

For his whole life, ever since he understood what those words meant on his parents wrists, he wanted a soulmate himself. Once he began to become the monster he knew himself as now, the desire for a soulmate soon turned into a guilty pleasure, one he could imagine but never have. He knew that no one would want him as he was, and that he was never bound to change, and even though his parents tried to reassure him that one day, he would find the right woman, one who would love him for who he was regardless, and would be strong enough to stay with him, he knew deep down they were just lying to make him feel better.

So when the words appeared, and the pain began to annoy him, he couldn’t help his virtually skipping heartbeat. It didn’t even die down when he read the words, ‘no I’m so fucked why him’ and looked across the street to see Izaya in a similar state of shock. He could only just stop himself from grinning like an idiot as the thought of having a soulmate swam through his only partially functioning brain. His heartbeat did eventually calm down as the realisation that _the flea_ was his soulmate sank in, but even still, he just wanted Izaya to accept the destiny that fate had set out for them so they could work out a way to live with it.

But Shizuo knew that would never happen, and as he felt the smoke burning down his throat in a comforting way, he let his mind wander. What would their life be like? He couldn’t imagine. As much as the evidence pointed towards the fact that they loved each other, he just couldn’t believe it. Did he love Izaya? Maybe he did. After all, the only thing that he thought about on a regular basis other than smoking and self-hatred was him.

Shaking his head, he cleared those thoughts away. He didn’t want to think about that now when he was supposed to be calming himself down. His cigarette had stopped burning, so he stubbed it out and relaxed back onto the sofa, an arm over his eyes.

What Shizuo wanted only mattered if Izaya wanted it too, and if things kept going the way they were now, then there was no way that what he wanted was a possibility.

* * *

A nauseous feeling in his chest woke him up abruptly, and checking the clock, he groaned at the time. It was 2 pm, meaning he had slept well into the afternoon. Checking his phone, Shizuo had 3 missed calls from Tom and 1 from Shinra. He could only guess that Shinra wanted to check up on him as he had been for a little while now. He also had a text from Tom to tell him that he had the day off, and to just let him know when he was ready to come back to work. Shizuo was extremely lucky that Tom wasn’t a very strict boss.

As he sat up, the nausea only got worse, so bad that he felt he might actually throw up. Maybe he had a virus. He tried to stand up to get himself a drink but only fell back onto the sofa as a wave of dizziness swept over him and bile rose in his throat. He’d never experienced a virus like this before, so he decided to call Shinra back.

He answered on the third ring, sounding annoyingly enthusiastic as he always did. “Hey Shizuo, how are things?” Shinra asked, a clatter in the background resounding tinny through the speaker of Shizuo’s phone.

“Actually Shinra I don’t feel so great,” he replied, explaining his symptoms quickly, rubbing his forehead in frustration as more sounds in the background continued to interrupt his explanation.

Shinra tutted softly as he dropped something, seeming to put the phone down for a moment before humming in thought. “Shizuo, have you ever had a panic attack before? Because that sounds like one.”

Rolling his eyes, he grumbled softly before answering. “No, Shinra, I haven’t. Why would I be getting one now?” Whilst he waited for Shinra to respond, he slowly stood back up, and headed towards his kitchen to get that drink he wanted before.

As he was making his coffee, he idly listened to the doctor list off many reasons why he could be experiencing a panic attack, ranging from his cigarette addiction to paranoia (which he didn’t have, thank you Shinra), to side effects of being recently soulmate marked. “Wait, repeat that last reason again?” he asked, suddenly alert.

“It could be something to do with Izaya? He often gets rather violent panic attacks that sound exactly like what you just described, and a side effect of being bonded means that to a certain extent you will experience similar emotions and states of mind to your soulmate.” Shinra elaborated, swearing softly as a loud clanging echoed through to Shizuo’s ear.

“Okay thanks Shinra,” Shizuo grimaced, pulling the phone away from his ear before hanging up and looking from his drink to the door of his flat and back again. “Ugh, another wasted drink thanks to the flea.” He mumbled to himself, before heading out the door.

Deciding he’d check up on Izaya if he was feeling that bad, Shizuo wandered down the street, feeling the panic subside a lot. Maybe whatever was wrong had passed, but he still needed to satisfy the worry that was eating at his heart, desperate to make sure Izaya was safe and happy. The thought made him want to vomit and grin simultaneously and he honestly wanted to do neither right now.

After the walk to Shinjuku, Shizuo stopped outside Izaya’s complex, before heading into the elevator up to his apartment. The lift music didn’t help his mood one bit, and the only thing stopping him smashing the very annoying speaker was the need to stay calm to help Izaya, which was a ridiculous sentiment and made him angry even more at the thought.

As the doors opened, he immediately recognised that he couldn’t feel Izaya’s presence in the nearby vicinity, but wanting to check anyway, he carefully took the door off the hinges to enter his apartment.

Silence was all that greeted him, and he almost regretted that he wasn’t welcomed with a snarky comment about giving Shizuo a key if he was going to keep breaking his door. He checked the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, even the wardrobe to make sure the flea wasn’t hiding but to no avail. He really wasn’t there. Which wasn’t at all suspicious, except for the fact that he hadn’t seen him on his way to Shinjuku, nor had he smelt him the whole way.

Now Shizuo was beginning to worry. Clearly, the panicky feeling must’ve had something to do with Izaya, as he’d never felt it before, but it couldn’t have just been a small incident if he couldn’t sniff him out like he normally could when he needed to let off some steam.

“Shit, fuck, crap,” he groaned, kicking over a small paper trash bin, sending balls of paper across the wooden floor before he left, leaving the door precariously leaning shut as he entered the elevator again, fiddling with his box of cigarettes to stop him smashing the elevator as it went back down to floor level.

Once he was outside again, Shizuo lit a cigarette as he began thinking about what might’ve happened. It had to be linked to the guy taking pictures of Izaya and him, sneaking around. “Shiki, huh.” He snarled, snapping the cigarette in half before dropping it to the pavement and grinding it under his foot. He’d make him pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this chapter straight after 8 and 9, because ive had great inspo recently lmao. And Shizuo pov to show how he realised what was up lol. Smoking isnt cool kids, and it hurts lol. Enjoy!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains violence and some very disturbing thought processes (which may or may not be carried out).
> 
> Gets a bit murderous here kids! Friendly reminder, murder is badddd but so is torture so yeah.
> 
> also did yall read the special chapter??? It’s the second part of the series I think, I couldn’t figure out how to post it in a way that people didn’t have to read it. It was bad but I wanted to both take a break from the torture and pain and do some fluff for maybe the first time in my life. That’s why it was bad, cause its fluff and I can’t write that lol. 
> 
> But anyway, this chapter is back to the scheduled pain and angst lmao, so enjoy!

Where to start looking though? Shizuo could only guess. He knew they wouldn’t be at the usual yakuza base, that’d be too obvious, so he had to think of places where it was isolated enough to keep a person without any prying eyes, but also big enough to hold Shiki’s big ego.

Despite the fact that Shizuo had never interacted with Shiki for more than a few minutes at most, he knew enough about him and his influence to know that the best place to look would be the abandoned warehouses where the yellow scarves used to meet before Kida Masaomi quit for good. Quiet, secluded and spacious, and dingy to a ridiculous extent, it was almost cliché. Yet Shizuo would bet his best dollar that they were there.

Considering running there, a hastiness he regretted he had, Shizuo knew that the longer he took to get to Izaya, the worse the outcome would be. And it would be better to get there sooner rather than later, just in case he was wrong about where they were.

As he pulled his phone out of his pocket, another pang of dread hit him hard, causing his fingers to go numb and drop his phone. “What the fuck?!” He hissed, bending down shakily to pick it up, a rush of anger heating up his body. There was no way that was a good sign.

Quickly typing a message to Celty, he waited, digging his nails into his palms as he rushed to where he asked her to pick him up.

She was already there when he arrived, the shadows around her flickering nervously as she hastily typed on her phone. ‘Shizuo, what’s going on?’ she asked as she motioned for him to join her on the motorbike. He climbed on in a rush, grinding his teeth together.

“Izaya's in trouble, but I don’t think he can slither his way out of it at the moment,” he growled lowly in response, directing Celty as she set off, shaking her head a little in response.

The ride to the warehouses, although short, seemed to last a lifetime. Every now and then Shizuo would feel a pang of fear or pain; with each he only grew angrier, a litany of swear words dropping from his mouth in a steady stream as they breezed through the streets of Ikebukuro. And although Celty was very much focused on getting to their destination as soon as possible, he could sense her discomfort at how anguished he was.

It wasn’t until they reached the warehouses that he quieted down a little, almost falling off the bike as a sharp pain bloomed from his right shoulder. Shizuo had never experienced pain like this before. Even broken bones didn’t hurt as much as this phantom pain did, and this only caused him to worry more.

Noticing his pain, Celty quickly asked him if he was alright, shoving her PDA in his face until he moved it away, straightening up to signal that he was fine. When the pain stopped, and he could stand properly without wanting to cut off his arm to avoid the pain, they began the search.

Starting from the first warehouse closest to them, Shizuo would kick down the door as Celty entered, developing a quick rhythm. The first one was empty, the harsh sound of the door hitting the far wall and clattering to the floor echoing in the still air around them. The second was less empty, and all they succeeded in doing was scaring a few homeless people as they scrambled away from them in fear.

Upon breaking into the third one, from which they heard noises inside, a flurry of dishevelled men scurried around the floor, covering their semi-naked bodies. Shizuo rolled his eyes at the sight, slightly amused by the fact that most of the women in there weren’t the slightest perturbed by the disturbance. Celty carefully place the door back on its hinges before they stopped in front of the final warehouse.

Shizuo hoped that they were in there. The bloodlust he usually hated himself for surging through him in a rush that left him almost murderous. If they weren’t in here, he didn’t know what he'd do.

With a short countdown, Shizuo burst through the door with much more force than he had to the others, hearing a satisfying crunch as the door crushed two men against the wall at the back. Before he had a chance to survey the contents of this building, three burly men came hurtling towards him, with no apparent regard for their own safety. When the one closest to him decided to throw a punch, Shizuo growled and grabbed the closest thing he could before slamming it on the attacker’s head with enough force to do serious damage.

The next few people decided to attack together, circling around Shizuo like a pack of tigers stalking prey, only much less graceful. A sneer of anger and the sick satisfaction of knowing that he was going to win this fight plastered itself to his face as he swung the item, a chair, in his hands in a circle, effectively knocking out the goonies stupid enough to not move away before throwing it at a smaller gang a bit further away. This gave him a chance to do a quick surveillance, noting that he could feel his scarred wrist throb slightly, a sign of his proximity to Izaya, before he was attacked again, his lack of concentration meaning that someone found an opportunity to stab him in the leg.

Looking down at the knife protruding from his thigh, he growled lowly, recognising the knife as one of Izaya's. “That’s not a very nice thing to do,” he said as he pulled it out, throwing it to the ground. The clatter it made was drowned out by the sounds of people being beaten to an inch of their life, as they kept coming at Shizuo.

Soon, there was just a pile of bodies, some unconscious, some probably dead, but Shizuo couldn’t care less as he looked around for Izaya. He caught a glimpse of Shiki leaving the warehouse, closely followed by Celty, silently thanking the dullahan for making his life a tiny bit easier.

It wasn’t hard to find Izaya, a pool of blood and water leading him to the naked and beaten body of his soulmate. The sight made him want to make sure everyone he had just beaten up were dead, but he knew with the amount of blood Izaya had lost that his situation was probably close to critical, and if he didn’t get him to Shinra soon then he might lose him. 

Finding his coat nearby, Shizuo laid it over Izaya’s body, mindful of the patches of blistered skin and burn marks. He could feel his teeth grinding together, tasting blood as he bit his cheek, his hands and arms shaking with the anger coursing through his body.

He even turned around to actually kill every single one of Shiki’s goonies, but Celty ran back in at that moment, seeming exasperated but clearly trying to stay as calm as she could to help Shizuo. He knew she didn’t like Izaya, but she still helped despite that, so he couldn’t make her watch as he committed murder on a conscious level. Instead, he picked Izaya up gently, holding him in a way he hoped wouldn’t hurt him any more than he already had been.

Celty tied a bandage tightly around Izaya's wrist before walking out of the warehouse after Shizuo, looking at the pile of bodies before heading back to Shinra’s with the soulmates just behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell im not good at fight scenes? Also are my chapters too short? I can try to make them longer if you think thatd be better, it might take longer though lol  
> Izaya's safe! Yay! Or is he??? I don’t know lol  
> see you soon!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was enjoyable peeps.
> 
> But also thanks for reading!
> 
> You're all wonderful, so have a good day!
> 
> Also, you can find me on my tumblr @bunnythatflies or my writing tumblr for updates and snippets @bunnythatwrites ^^
> 
> Thank you! ^^


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